2008 Woodie Awards
Life through the eyes of a fashion guru
Overexposure
Sheree Whiteley
Issue date: 4/5/07 Section: Culture
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Ahhhhh. Fresh, non-frigid air. There are few things better than the beginning of spring.
That time of the year when it seems like the Earth is trading in its snow boots for open-toed sandals.
Knowing that flip-flops and shorts are just around the bend makes the post-Spring Break return to lectures, labs and exams bearable.
Few things feel better than stepping outside in a pair of shorts for the first time of the year, but one thing has always bothered me about warm-weather wear.
I firmly believe that skimpier clothing should come with a big warning label: beware of overexposure.
Short-shorts shouldn’t be paired with barely-there tanks. Guys, no one wants to see your armpit hair peaking out of cut-off T-shirts.
A similar label should be posted before venturing into the social world.
Past experiences have taught me that it’s important to retain a significant amount of emotional clothing as well (yes, I know that sounds like something a cheesy therapist would say, but hear me out).
No one tells us to keep certain things covered up, and this often results in catastrophic incidences of overexposure.
How are we supposed to know what to hide and what to “put out there?” Via trial and error?
One thing to keep covered up: references to exes. No new significant other wants to know where you and your ex hung out, what sweet (or, similarly, unspeakably rude) things he/she did to you or the reasons you two broke up. And you might as well keep past-boudoir talk wrapped up like you would be on a trip to Antarctica.
Then there’s SSB. For non “Sex and the City” addicts, SSB stands for “secret single behavior.”
The things you do when you’re alone and wouldn’t want anyone (especially romantic interests) to know about. It’s your quirky, silly, too-weird-to-share side.
The things that you do, but aren’t really sure why. It just feels good.
Maybe it involves prancing around your house in super-high heels screaming your lungs out alongside Alanis Morrissette while stuffing your face with peanut-butter sandwiches – whatever your extreme alone time entails, keep it clothed.
We can’t ever be sure how people will react to what we reveal.
Donning skirts and bare legs for the first time of the season could either result in inquiries as to whether or not you’re allergic to the sun or compliments on time spent in the gym and tanning bed. Similarly, we never know whether sharing a dark secret or letting someone see our bad side will bring people closer or scare them away.
This isn’t to say that we all need to wander the streets clothed neck-to-ankle or be pretentious toward others.
But in life it’s important to choose carefully who sees all of you (someone should have told this to Britney Spears before the no-underwear incident).
Wandering the streets while exposing too much skin makes people want to gawk or throw money at you.
Revealing too much emotion at work can make your coworkers think you’re a nut case.
Be careful about what you put out there for the world to see. Keep cottage-cheese thighs and watering eyes where they belong.
That time of the year when it seems like the Earth is trading in its snow boots for open-toed sandals.
Knowing that flip-flops and shorts are just around the bend makes the post-Spring Break return to lectures, labs and exams bearable.
Few things feel better than stepping outside in a pair of shorts for the first time of the year, but one thing has always bothered me about warm-weather wear.
I firmly believe that skimpier clothing should come with a big warning label: beware of overexposure.
Short-shorts shouldn’t be paired with barely-there tanks. Guys, no one wants to see your armpit hair peaking out of cut-off T-shirts.
A similar label should be posted before venturing into the social world.
Past experiences have taught me that it’s important to retain a significant amount of emotional clothing as well (yes, I know that sounds like something a cheesy therapist would say, but hear me out).
No one tells us to keep certain things covered up, and this often results in catastrophic incidences of overexposure.
How are we supposed to know what to hide and what to “put out there?” Via trial and error?
One thing to keep covered up: references to exes. No new significant other wants to know where you and your ex hung out, what sweet (or, similarly, unspeakably rude) things he/she did to you or the reasons you two broke up. And you might as well keep past-boudoir talk wrapped up like you would be on a trip to Antarctica.
Then there’s SSB. For non “Sex and the City” addicts, SSB stands for “secret single behavior.”
The things you do when you’re alone and wouldn’t want anyone (especially romantic interests) to know about. It’s your quirky, silly, too-weird-to-share side.
The things that you do, but aren’t really sure why. It just feels good.
Maybe it involves prancing around your house in super-high heels screaming your lungs out alongside Alanis Morrissette while stuffing your face with peanut-butter sandwiches – whatever your extreme alone time entails, keep it clothed.
We can’t ever be sure how people will react to what we reveal.
Donning skirts and bare legs for the first time of the season could either result in inquiries as to whether or not you’re allergic to the sun or compliments on time spent in the gym and tanning bed. Similarly, we never know whether sharing a dark secret or letting someone see our bad side will bring people closer or scare them away.
This isn’t to say that we all need to wander the streets clothed neck-to-ankle or be pretentious toward others.
But in life it’s important to choose carefully who sees all of you (someone should have told this to Britney Spears before the no-underwear incident).
Wandering the streets while exposing too much skin makes people want to gawk or throw money at you.
Revealing too much emotion at work can make your coworkers think you’re a nut case.
Be careful about what you put out there for the world to see. Keep cottage-cheese thighs and watering eyes where they belong.
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