2008 Woodie Awards
I'm bringing sexy back
Shannon Morgan
Issue date: 3/19/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
“Oh my God! We were like, totally making out at The Bistro! Those guys were buying us sooo many drinks! Like, we
are so hot!”
I overheard Girlfriend A say to Girlfriend B in the restroom at The Bistro as I was standing in line behind them, waiting for the gaggle of girlfriends to finish applying their 50 layers of makeup so I could get to the sink to wash my hands.
It seems these types of women travel in herds. They can’t go into the restroom alone, I mean really, what if one of them forgot their pink sparkle lip gloss at home (you know, the kind Paris Hilton wears) and had a small crisis on her hands!?
I’m sorry ladies, I know what it’s like to want to gain attention from a man, but getting trashed and making out with your best friend in order to get that attention is taking the completely wrong approach.
Yes, you’ll get free drinks (lots and lots of free drinks) and you may even take one of these guys home with you.
He’s only going to hang around long enough for you to “get low” like the women in the P. Diddy video, then he’ll leave skid marks so deep on your bedroom floor, you’ll have the shame of it to keep you company for weeks to come.
Trust me that guy doesn’t find you sexy, his penis certainly does, but in the end, he’s not looking at you with much more than his penis.
I see the same thing played out at bars over and over again when I go downtown on the weekends.
When did the idea of making out with other girls and getting free drinks from strange men become how we define our sexiness and self-worth?
I’d like to propose a new definition of a sexy woman and hope that mine makes a little more sense than Girlfriend A and B’s.
First, a sexy woman doesn’t have to get trashed to feel sexy. It comes from within. A sexy woman knows her own worth and knows that the right guy will find that irresistible.
A sexy woman doesn’t accept free drinks from guys; she does however accept one from a gentleman. Heck, if she’s feeling saucy, she’ll offer to buy him a drink. I know that sounds crazy, but trust me nothing is sexier to a man than a confident woman who isn’t afraid to treat him for a change.
A sexy woman does not define herself by her purse, her shoes or the perfect arch of her fake eyelashes. She may (and probably does) own all of those things but realizes they’re just ornaments that accentuate an already brilliant jewel. This type of woman is just as sexy in sweat pants as she is with her Louis Vuitton handbag.
A sexy woman can stop a man dead in his tracks with just one look. In that look she communicates to him, “I’m confident, I’m intelligent, and you’re damn right I look good in these jeans!”
After a man notices this type of woman he says, “Wow, this is going to be one exciting and worthy challenge.”
That’s what’s missing ladies, the challenge, the mystery, the soft femininity our grandmothers had back when women understood seduction.
Being sexy is not about being sexual or sensual, it’s about harnessing that radiant inner fire every woman possesses and letting that be the magnet that leaves the man candy swooning.
It’s not only about the ornaments on the outside, but the ones on the inside that are uniquely yours.
Being sexy is a state of mind, it’s not a state of body and you won’t find it at the bottom of a shot glass.
If all else fails, at worse you’ll be back ramming your tongue down Girlfriend B’s throat, taking up precious free space in the ladies restroom at bars and puking in the alley behind The Bistro because you’ve had too many free drinks from hot guys who only care to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of your lollypop.
are so hot!”
I overheard Girlfriend A say to Girlfriend B in the restroom at The Bistro as I was standing in line behind them, waiting for the gaggle of girlfriends to finish applying their 50 layers of makeup so I could get to the sink to wash my hands.
It seems these types of women travel in herds. They can’t go into the restroom alone, I mean really, what if one of them forgot their pink sparkle lip gloss at home (you know, the kind Paris Hilton wears) and had a small crisis on her hands!?
I’m sorry ladies, I know what it’s like to want to gain attention from a man, but getting trashed and making out with your best friend in order to get that attention is taking the completely wrong approach.
Yes, you’ll get free drinks (lots and lots of free drinks) and you may even take one of these guys home with you.
He’s only going to hang around long enough for you to “get low” like the women in the P. Diddy video, then he’ll leave skid marks so deep on your bedroom floor, you’ll have the shame of it to keep you company for weeks to come.
Trust me that guy doesn’t find you sexy, his penis certainly does, but in the end, he’s not looking at you with much more than his penis.
I see the same thing played out at bars over and over again when I go downtown on the weekends.
When did the idea of making out with other girls and getting free drinks from strange men become how we define our sexiness and self-worth?
I’d like to propose a new definition of a sexy woman and hope that mine makes a little more sense than Girlfriend A and B’s.
First, a sexy woman doesn’t have to get trashed to feel sexy. It comes from within. A sexy woman knows her own worth and knows that the right guy will find that irresistible.
A sexy woman doesn’t accept free drinks from guys; she does however accept one from a gentleman. Heck, if she’s feeling saucy, she’ll offer to buy him a drink. I know that sounds crazy, but trust me nothing is sexier to a man than a confident woman who isn’t afraid to treat him for a change.
A sexy woman does not define herself by her purse, her shoes or the perfect arch of her fake eyelashes. She may (and probably does) own all of those things but realizes they’re just ornaments that accentuate an already brilliant jewel. This type of woman is just as sexy in sweat pants as she is with her Louis Vuitton handbag.
A sexy woman can stop a man dead in his tracks with just one look. In that look she communicates to him, “I’m confident, I’m intelligent, and you’re damn right I look good in these jeans!”
After a man notices this type of woman he says, “Wow, this is going to be one exciting and worthy challenge.”
That’s what’s missing ladies, the challenge, the mystery, the soft femininity our grandmothers had back when women understood seduction.
Being sexy is not about being sexual or sensual, it’s about harnessing that radiant inner fire every woman possesses and letting that be the magnet that leaves the man candy swooning.
It’s not only about the ornaments on the outside, but the ones on the inside that are uniquely yours.
Being sexy is a state of mind, it’s not a state of body and you won’t find it at the bottom of a shot glass.
If all else fails, at worse you’ll be back ramming your tongue down Girlfriend B’s throat, taking up precious free space in the ladies restroom at bars and puking in the alley behind The Bistro because you’ve had too many free drinks from hot guys who only care to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of your lollypop.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
Wendy Meyers
posted 3/19/07 @ 11:13 PM MST
Bravo Shannon!!! Very well said and absolutely true....(Your grandmother would be proud :-)
Tony Jackson
posted 3/20/07 @ 10:26 AM MST
Shannon, Shannon, Shannon... You know darn well I'm gonna chime in on this one. The above statement could not be more true. I hate to put that out there coming from a guy, but at this point I could care less. (Continued…)
DuG
posted 3/20/07 @ 11:50 PM MST
Awesome! Hysterical! Great as usual...
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